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Sunday, 25 June 2017

Prez - the unpublished issue 5


Sad to say, there is one final issue of Prez that it is possible to read, even though it was (wisely) never published. What would have been issue 5 is also by Simon and Grandenetti.


In this tale, the White House is infested with bugs, both the crawling kind and the listening kind. There are two men listening to the electronic bugs, Balderman and Curlyman, whose names evoke Watergate figures Haldeman and Ehrlichman. Even though Ehrlichman was white, his equivalent is shown here as a black man. Because of "curly" in Curlyman. Aren't you glad this wasn't published?


So anyway, Prez calls an exterminator to get rod of the crawly bugs, and that guy is basically the Pied Piper. He does get rid of the bugs, though as he plays his music those who are listening get visions of a lake of fire. Then he submits his bill, and Prez, never having read a fairy tale it seems, refuses to pay it.


So you will never in a million years guess what happens next. The Pied Piper returns and plays his music and lures away all the children!  What a surprising development! The kids are enchanted not only by the music, but also by the visions of the lake of fire. Because that's something all children want to play in.


No one knows where the Pied Piper has taken the kids, and Prez sends out the army to look for them. He is also in the midst of a Congressional investigation into wiretapping at the White House, which is really just an excuse to bring back Balderman and Curlyman, who share the tape in which the Piper talks about taking the kids to his lake.


So the army blow up the lake and kill the Piper just before the kids reach the water. The end. Yeah, really couldn't have lived a full life without knowing that story.

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